“I believe the recipe for happiness to be just enough money to pay the monthly bills you acquire, a little surplus to give you confidence, a little too much work each day, enthusiasm for your work, a substantial share of good health, a couple of real friends and a wife and children to share life’s beauty with you.”- J. Kenfield Morley
I am realizing more and more that money is stressing more marriages than anything else and the research that I have read confirms this. One of Five marriages in The Bahamas ends in divorce and the overwhelming reasons is money!
I am sure you may be thinking that it’s the sex, your children or even your nosy mother in law but when you really look at it – it could be your money that is causing the real stress in your marriage!
So,
- How do you ensure that money is not adversely affecting your marriage?
- How do you avoid money becoming the source of arguments, frustrations and division in marriages?
Usually , frustrations about money are only a symptom of a larger problem in your relationship-because how you use your money is usually a reflection of what is going on in your heart. And when you don’t trust your spouse with how they are using money then clearly the hearts are beating to separate drums.
Apostle Paul put it this way “Love covers a Multitude of sin.”
This is why it is important for you as a couples to first agree on what is important in your life and align your money with those agreed upon principles. Go ahead and discuss your money. You can not have oneness if your finances are separate. Decide what you are going to base your family’s spending and then develop a spending plan that you both agree on so that your spending will not create any problems.
And if you’re struggling in your marriage and money seems to be the problem remember:
- It’s not about the money, it’s about your feelings about how the money is being used. Find out why you feel the way you do about how the money is being used.
- Divorce costs A LOT. And its costs not only includes legal and alimony payments but the emotional trauma you inflict on you and your children.
Divorce often times does not relieve pain, it actually prolongs and worsen it. According to the Enrichment Journal on the divorce rate in America:
- The divorce rate for first marriage is 41%
- The divorce rate for second marriage is 60%
- The divorce rate for third marriage is 73%
I think those are compelling reason to relieve the stress your money is causing your relationship!
If you want help on resolving money issues in your marriage “Taking Control of Your Money” coaching is a resource that can help.