Having reached early old age barefoot along a painfully graveled path, I speculate whether my gullible nature has done me any favors when it comes to friendships. I am possessed of reasonable intelligence (no really I am, I promise, I have an IQ of 129) yet I continue to fall into the pothole of lost friendships over that old bugbear – money.
I have lent money to two good friends in recent years and the result has been disastrous. I have refused to lend money to at least two friends, and the result has been equally unsatisfactory. The first incidence was a case of desperate need. My friend was the one with a desperate need and I had the means to alleviate her suffering. The problem was her need continued for so long she no longer considered she need to pay back that which she had borrowed, her decision to not repay her debt offended me and this resulted in a friendship irretrievably lost.
The second incident was more cynical. This lady had the cheek to borrow from me, not pay it back but then request more. I refused on the second occasion and from that point her warmth toward me has undergone a considerable drop in temperature.
One acquaintance of ours, a passing one at that, requested we keep about $2000 in reserve over a weekend for her and her husband, should the bank refuse them credit. She ended by adding ‘I know you are a good friend and you will do this for us.’ Like hell. In my view, a good friend would not have put me in a position where I had to refuse such an outrageous proposition.
I have another friend, of some years standing, who would never ask to borrow money even though her life depended upon it, preferring to retain her dignity and independence, as would I. She says I am an idiot with the words ‘abuse me’ tattooed across my forehead. Probably.
Not that I am averse to borrowing; everyone needs help from time to time. I do believe though that such things must necessary be controlled and contracted in the proper manner, so that friendships may be safeguarded from abuse.